What is Couples Therapy?

Married or unmarried couples go to a couples therapy when they feel there is a sense of conflict and misunderstanding in their relationship.
 
The goal of the treatment is to identify the problem which is reflected in the relationship between the partners, to define it for them and to allow changes in the patterns of relationship and attitude, things that will lead to growth and to the personal care of each of the partners.

Parity is often the foundation of our family life. The couple's goals are often related to economic security, emotional security and sense of belonging, or a desire for fertility and continuity.

 

In order to maintain a good relationship, the couple needs to care for a few important variables:

 

  • Intimacy

  • Exclusivity

  • Setting boundaries separating the couple and other people

 

 

There are times in life that are considered more sensitive to crises in relationships:

 

  • The first years of marriage, when the couple is busy building a personal space inside their relationship space. For example, Is it permissible to want to spend time with my friends from before marriage? How involved are his or her parents? What are the economic priorities?

  • The major pressure years. The children are young and there is a need to establish a career. Sometimes the economic situation is still unstable.

  • The "boredom" period. We have become accustomed, the routine takes over our lives …

  • The "empty nest" phase. The children leave home, parental roles are changing their nature. There's no need of a close accompaniment and rich experience…

  • The "sandwich age". The couple's parents are old and in need of more help, the kids set up their own families and they need help as well…

  • The menopause crisis. We find ourselves older, maybe not sexy anymore…

 

Couples therapy's goal is to figure out together where these problems occur.

Sometimes the difficulties are in adapting to the different stages of the normative life cycle.

Sometimes the difficulties are in communicating, expressing emotions related to the stress and the strain, or the fear of change.

Sometimes the difficulties are in defining conscious and unconscious expectations of the partner, understanding the unconscious contract between them.

 

 

During the therapeutic process, other ways for maintaining the couple's relationship are established:

 

  • You learn how to show respect even when you disagree.

  • You learn how to fight.

  • You learn how to identify wishes, expectations, feelings…

  • You learn how to express feelings

  • You learn how to make decisions

 

Treatment usually takes place once a week, at a specific time on a specific day. My acquaintance process with the couple consists of a joint meeting with both of the partners; A personal meeting with each partner individually in order to get to know them more deeply; And then again a joint meeting to decide on the treatment's goals together and the way it will happen. There is a possibility of separate meetings if the therapist or one of the partners are requesting it. In any case, there are no personal meetings without the other person's awareness of it.